FB Updates 3

Dear Sunshine: you might hate me for saying this, but I think you need to head to a clinic. Our Mother's Day romp on the beach yesterday has left me with a burning sensation and irritation in all the places on my body where I let you sit. Call me.

being eased awake by thunder snooze is my new fave.

I can't believe my luck! I was with my 10 year old son when he saw his first bitchin' Camaro and he was totally stoked. "Woah, look at that awesome car! Gold with black stripes! Cool!" yesssss.

I welcome you, dark and dreary day.

crow porn outside my office window. great way to start the day. (for me AND the crows)

Apparently I eat popcorn so veraciously; it comes out of my pants when I undress. Now that’s committment!

Seriously, what is the purpose of poppyseeds besides messing up our drug tests, getting stuck in our teeth or scattering across our counters to be later feared as mouse turds. They don’t even taste good

3 words, 6 syllables, 1 ridiculous addiction for lunch: Gas Station Cheeseburger.

when my kids turn out all right - I will credit their great sense of self. Also, the relationships that surround them: their dad & I remaining friends, a grandma & grandpa who have been married for over 40 years, and possibly the most pivotal - me & coffee.

I wish they made a patch to break my habit of looking into people's shopping carts when I run into them at the grocery store. "oh...ointment & vodka? looks like you're in for a soothing weekend."

Wondering if the editors of Penthouse Forum feel their market corner is threatened by those kinky kids: Rhianna, Ke$ha & Britney. Who needs to sneak your dad's porno mag anymore when you can just turn on pop radio?!