FB Updates 5

Oh, if only my Junk Email Inbox were correct - I’d be sitting at my desk waiting for a mystery Fed Ex package to arrive and my casino transfer would be processing any minute. Also, I’d be in for a wild night in the sack tonight with my newly enlarged man-tool. Why must you taunt me, Yahoo!?

Reading Snowflower & the Secret Fan. Feeling very grateful that foot binding and many other controlling traditions never made it over here. My heart aches for those little Chinese girls.

Stairway to Heaven was always the last song played at our Junior High dances. Whenever I hear it, it still triggers that memory of making-out as hard as possible before mom picked you up – hoping the chaperones didn’t come up to you saying “save room for Jesus”. (the song is 8:02 minutes long)

I feel it’s a conflict of interest to make coffee fashionable but not yellowed teeth. With my coffee addiction, I can’t possibly keep up with these whitening strips! I’m moving to England.

I am now going to brag about the brilliant goodies I created for the 80's theme dance at my kids' school tomorrow night...I call them "Gag me with a Spoon" - chocolate covered spoons with sprinkles. Like, totally.

Ahhhh… It’s a sunny-Bob-Marley kind of morning (minus the weed & munchies)

Wouldn’t it be great to have a key ring that allowed you to decide what’s happening on the other side of the door when you turned the key?!

I used to party, dance & stumble on beaches without spilling my beer. Now I rush to soccer, stuff lunches and scramble to work without spilling my coffee! Skills for life.

Cold Stone Creamery for dinner because I'm the mom and I said so!

Oh, man. If your kid comes running out of the shower yelling "too hot, too hot, too hot" 5 times fast (try it...you'll see my point) do NOT be worried about your parenting guidance & censorship. It's all good. Worry about your dirty mind? Perhaps.

"Be a fountain, not a drain." ~ Rex Hudler