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my son & I: "mom, when will I get my Adam's Apple?" "um, I think when you hit puberty-but we could look that up." "why do only the boys get them?" "I think it has something to do with the Bible and the man in the stories is Adam. but we could look that up." "It seems like the girls should get a fruit when they have puberty. Like...a peach." "...actually, they kind of do."

an air-conditioning vent on the floor next to the stove makes for interesting cooking when going commando in a skirt

So... If my kid sleeps over at your house and you smoke in your car and make him keep the windows up because "the air is on"... He won't be coming over again.

these things are on the same "this is way too personal for a couple of strangers so I'm avoiding all eye contact" list for me: early morning continental breakfasts at hotels, removing my belt at the airport security, rousing and leaving in a herd from an outdoor movie at midnight after you've fallen asleep on the lawn.

Oh dear, somebody warn me - am I about to fall in love with Ernest Hemingway during my reading of The Paris Wife? I’m 5 chapters in and it’s already begun. I just need to know if I should make some space in my heart.

Imagine my surprise! I went to bed with boring ‘ole dried-up Thursday and woke up with hot, sexy & promising Friday! I love the way that works.

The relevance of pulling out my Sony Discman to listen to my Book on CD while waiting in line at the Film Fest feels like I might as well pull out my Victorola! I'm so current.

I want to be the personal assistant for a famous comedian. Just watched Conan O'Brien's documentary and I think that's the job for me!

The fabric of my parachute has been sewn together by family & friends who love me no matter what. It was packed correctly and tight by my own karma & goodness, and a strong work ethic. Faith, to me, is knowing I can step off any cliff and that parachute will deliver me safely...somewhere. (If it breaks, dad will come and if I get hungry or cold - mom probably snuck a snack and a sweater in there, too.)

my boys learned a lesson in quick wit when presented with their first "helium balloon inhalation" opportunity tonight. You can't say just anything with that voice - it's gotta be something special.

my 10 year-old said "mom, that's getting a little old - you always cracking sarcastic jokes to strangers."

I mean NO disrepect when i say this: Realized this weekend how similar a Catholic Mass is to a Rocky Horror Picture Show. Except instead of toast, newspapers and yelling 'a-hole', it's different movements & words. I needed a virgin guide!

stumbled through my first blind date with jogging. not sure it's a love connection yet, but I will give it a fair shot.

The beauty of drool is - it’s clear. So when you laugh so hard that you spit all over your own face, nobody can really see it unless they’re right up in your grill.

4-way stops and ending the phone call require someone to take control. I will be that person – every time.

It's easy to let Summer sneak away when Fall shows up looking and feeling so damn beautiful.

Who knew binge drinking in my youth would help my parenting years later?! Dug into my bag of "how to stop the spins" tricks last night to help my kid fall asleep after too many twirly carnival rides at the fair

If it’s true what they say about guys driving huge trucks trying to compensate for tiny man parts…those guys who drive the Smart Cars must need a side car for their junk

I love that beautiful moment when waking up and realizing...it's only 530 am, it's Saturday and it's raining. Guilt free snooze!

Grocery shopping on Saturdays gives me the sudden urge to spawn. I feel like an egg-dropping salmon in those crowded, flowing aisles

I'm surprised with my love of cotton candy that I didn't eat more insulation as a kid.