Last one

Instant sisterhood ingredients: stop light, two ladies in their own separate cars, Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" playing on both radios, a glance, a smile, more belting-out. I really love these moments

Its days like today (when running very late) I’m glad I never bought into the whole “be a hot chick with lots of product” thing. Just throw on a smile and some heels and try to distract them with jokes

A big shout-out to blue jeans, today, as they make their weekly debut in corporate America for casual Fridays across the land. Gimme a D, gimme an E, gimme an N-I-M! Gooooo Denim!

I think back on my weekend and I wish a few things: 1 .Mike’s Hard Lemonade came with a gag or a stronger brain to mouth filter 2. Ice cream made me look as good & creamy as it tastes 3. EVERY group of days could be like this

My 10 year-old son wants to wear a tuxedo t-shirt to his 5th grade graduation. If you are wondering where to purchase one of those, it’s at Spencer’s Gifts. Located directly in the center of the big pink dildo section and surrounded by plenty of other completely normal bachelorette items. Funny, this is the one shopping trip my kid didn’t complain about

I realized this morning JUST how bad my commitment issues are. I can’t even drink from a coffee cup that boasts “I ♥ Las Vegas”. I mean, I like the town…It’s very entertaining, we’ve had some great times – but I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life there. It’s not you, Vegas, it’s me. And I just can’t commit to that sort of phrase right now.

Fruit Stripes Gum = Osmond Family Concert in my mouth. fancy package - no flava

Poor Father Earth – his wife seems to be menopausal and I bet he has NO idea what he’s in for!

Smartphones: redefining eyebrows' purpose as parents master the "yes, honey, I'm paying attention" eyebrow & chin lift while continuing to text/Facebook/check email/play angry birds