More Found Here

·     I'm really excited about my culinary invention! The Banana Dog. Toast a hot dog bun, top it with peanut butter and put a banana where the hot dog would go. Dig it. :

·      I DO love the internet and its immediate gratification (thanks, Al Gore :)) but I also miss the sweet uncertainty of not knowing when I might hear my favorite song again...waiting anxiously for the radio to play it or when you could actually hope for the video on MTV

·     A hug from a child can warm your heart and also get peanut butter smeared all over your shirt.

·     Just realized the real reason I encourage conversation at the dinner table is to distract my kids from my awful cooking

·     It has been confirmed today at our household that an opened umbrella DOES slow your fall when jumping from the top of the deck. (do not try this if you weigh more than an 8 year old)

·     If I could swallow a checkered flag to stop my racing mind some nights...I would totally do that. Also considered sticking it in one ear and pulling it out the other to buff things up in there. But instead, I just tossed and turned. Lame

·     Canned meat is one of those things I secretly keep smelling when nobody is looking

·     If each day is my ideal pizza party, then negative words are like black olives for me and ruin the whole damn flavor. Luckily I was raised to carry around lots of soda to wash that crap down and move on

·     a summer thunderstorm in the morning is like a sweet, sweet lover...makes it very difficult to leave the bed

·     Sometimes a good hearty laugh can wring out your soul like a dishrag and let the crappy ‘ole water drain right away

·     next time the cashier at the grocery store asks me "exact amount?" when swiping my payment, I'm going to say: "nope, I'll just be paying one dollar for all this today, thanks.

·     My evolution of goals: 10 pm last night- “Tomorrow morning I’ll get to work early, be productive and look hot”…5:30 a.m. this morning - “how about I get to work on time, rested but looking cute-ish”… 8:05 am - “ok, we’ll go with get to work late, be cheerful and dressed.

·     A trip to the amusement/water park makes me so proud to be an American in these times. People of all races, religion and class hanging in the same space-pushing the family tolerance level. Also, a good reminder that a person can rock a mullet no matter the decade and wear short shorts no matter the thigh size. OK USA

·     That "smoke-free" music fest was so natural and green, they even use air freshner in the port-a-potty that smells like weed.

·     The worst part, for me, about dropping the ball is when someone comes up and says, “here-I noticed you dropped this.” :(

·      today Tiger Woods said something like: "It's sad. You never go into marriage expecting to get divorced." I wonder what he WAS expecting. "I mean, I thought I could just bang all those chicks who weren't my wife and continue to rule the world as an infidel. FORE!"

·     Please do the world a favor and don't get a job in Customer Service if you are a miserable bitch most days of your life. Thanks

·     I’m learning that being a good mom not only stems from catching them being good, but also being available to guide my sons and say, “please don’t stick that in your brother’s butt.”

·     The real hazard of eating while driving is me trying to keep my lunch down when watching what people do to their noses at stop lights. Gag me with a spoon.

·     Just had my annual one-night stand with an entire box of Samoas. Nobody gets me the way they do. This love is untouchable.