My Alarm Clock

I have had the same alarm clock since 1983, no joke.  (A gift for my 9^th birthday) A Realistic Chronomatic –  234 from Radio Shack.  She’s decorated with fake wood-paneling, bright red digital numbers, and a dial to ease through station choices.  This baby has the ability to switch from FM to AM and Hi dim to Low dim. And the snooze button…Eight sweet minutes of stolen time.

Prior to owning this gem, I used a big old white unit that only transmitted one really shitty AM station.  Listening to talk radio at night as I fell asleep, I remember feeling just a little bit smarter for having heard what people thought of Reagan, God and poorly maintained potholes.  At age eight, I had no clue what any of it meant and unfortunately, I still feel that way when I listen to NPR at age thirty seven. But after I received my new gift, those talk-show listening days were over.

After hearing how long I’ve had my alarm clock, a friend of mine said, “if that snooze button could talk…” and she’s right.  My hand has touched that radio everyday starting from my Juice Newton-Strawberry Shortcake-Cabbage Patch Kids phase through Clearasil-hand jobs-Whitney Houston phase and beyond. That snooze button has been scratched by my Lee Press-Ons, watched me scrawl in journal after journal about heavy-petting and observed many-a practice make-out sessions with the back of my own hand.

I won’t go into a list of all the unmentionables that clock has seen, but I always pictured contacting the manufacturer and suggesting my commercial to promote the longevity of their product…My hand reaching over in various stages, location and ages.  My youthful hand with a Ring Pop, then smeared bar stamps on the back of my hand, wedding ring, hospital bracelet, breast pump next to it, aged/seasoned and experienced hand, liver spots…you get the idea. I never did contact them.

The reason I’m even discussing my alarm clock is because a young tech-savvy co-worker of mine wanted to show me how to set an alarm on my iPhone today.  I immediately got a huge knot in my stomach. First I told her no, I didn’t want to learn. I felt like I was betraying my trusty old fake-wood clock.  But then I decided I shouldn’t be so stubborn so I begrudgingly let her show me. I will continue to use my faithful friend until it no longer shows time - which I fear is getting near.