More Random Posts

• How come I never learned to write that cool way like other girls? My handwriting looks like...dumbness.

• I'm thinkin' life is a human buffet. Some people...I like to visit their table for all I can eat. Others...not so much.

• The optimist in me is flattered that a spider found me tasty enough to bite while I slept, the rest of me is a little grossed out.

• Not many things are certain in life, but one thing you can count on...when my kids are given sandpaper-somebody's buttcrack will be sanded. It's only a matter of time.

• When I clean the commode I pretend I am an elephant dentist.

• “Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” -Mark Twain

• Note to self: Next year buy Easter Rake for clean-up of Easter Grass.

• Hey, Double Bubble, thanks for the 2 minutes of nostalgic bliss-now get out of my mouth hole so I can make room for another one!

• Thunderstorms make me feel dysfunctional. I love them, they scare me, they leave, then I miss it and can't think about anything else. WTF.

• I wouldn't mind taking the P out of Asparagus, if you know what I mean...

• Seems like nobody really just says “goodbye” to end a phone call anymore… “Yep, mm-hmm, ok, talk to you later, mm-hmmm, ok, bye”

• I love how my boys relax just a little more when I pull the blanket over them after they're asleep. It's like getting my mom certificate notarized each night.